The cost of failure is experence but the cost for not only is your soul that the cost of course made a strong that only can be lead against the inhumanity of the world.

Thats exactly true that I gained from my struggle life. I hope that make you strong also. I had seen when my brother killed by the terrorist. At that time our administration had damaged. Because at that time all of them planed for the kill of Bangabandhu. What did my father at that day ? He was so intelegent only by God gifted. When grand father and my elder brother had gone forever from his. Then he alone. He did not his justice this illegal administration. He silently first he sent of us (second brother and me) to Narail City at my Mama's house. Then he silently arragened his others children at village that dangerous pereid. But he seems that no any dangerous. because no complain of others. So his village is so nice to him. they were peacefully liveing their. No problems. Because all of loved my elder brothers. Thats made him only strong in there. If he wanted to do case, so more damaged his family. So he could not thats only succeed once. He was craditor and others were debitor. Thats his power. But now in there always as like as brothers and sisters only. they are all of our relatives that I know .

When Kabir Jahangir disputed me at Narail. I never seen to him from near.  I was fully innocent at that day. Whereas second brother always said to mother that I cut a bit and throwing the river. He knows that he is not good person. But I was so silent. All of distressed only kept upon my God.Thats only made me strong. At that day I could defferentiate good and bad. But that my luck. My personality was so high. So could not established myself at Narail. If that day we insisted and something to done. Of course I will be failure of my life and no peace now. So God to do well that of course human beings.

When Ambassador Monzurul Alam disputed me in 1991. Then I did not any complain. And accepted my challange and once I succeed. Althought I got a lot of distressed. But I  gained succeed thats enought. But interesting thing I never touched their (Gopalgong) any food items thats growing the villlage. Whole life I have been service and eating my own income. Thats made me so strong.

After my husband dead they are all of ignore to us. Because we are now helpless. So they are all of responsible with us. But they did not care of us. Even they captured false registration of our property. Our Prophet Mohammad said that 'no never captured of orphan.'' Thats reality. No any complain for that. Because whole life no needed, so now no need. In here we are creditor and they are debetor only. we are giving and they are accepting. Thats made me strong only. I know that if I will go the illegal court, then so more damaged our money and important time. But no need. After all  they are all of my brothers that I know.

In 2006 seceond time when amb. Monzurul Alam came of my house and wanted negociate but firstly I dont agree, but once I did wrong. I already forgot my two orphan sons, forgot I am now unwell and widow and forgot hot not. But when come back my real conscious, then I told him the true word but he refuesed instantly , then I understand our reality. Come back and cached my pen only. I knew that our true real judicial immunity and our high educated disability society. In here no valuation of true. Who have so much illegal power they are strong. Law, news paper and everything is themself only. Always in my thought that one day I will go in his gate and to throwing wet by the Petron and fire that. But could not nothing. Why are you know ? In here their wall is so strong. Whereas they complaned to aganist me and indicate me Mad. Then the our idiots power hand caff and enter the Jail. Then my two orphan sons lost his only mother who always  maintaining them. Thats our reality. Even as like as Rohimon, Korimon at village girls, they beat me 73 Dora of my body thats humper or damaged my life. So could not kill him and always wanted to kill him by my pen.

Now if to do some  question me - murder ? rape ?  injustice ? what I will say ? please tell me. I want to from you. I know that because this is my dangerous period. 

1. 
   
   I eye witnes my brother killed once. thats all.
2. I know that Kabir Jahangir of Sweden disputed me ( never I saw him to near, only writing love letters, thats my guilty)  only for his own  interest that damaged my life that bearing till now.Thats true. At that period was so preservation.
3. I know I disputed second time by Monzurul Alam in 1991. But I know that first day he said to me that you are my hundred percent wife. Thats all. Now whole life he raped me or loved me I dont know.
4. After my husband dead when he came of my life as like as before. But in here defferent that then my husband alive and second time after my husband dead. I know that my illegal power that I used. But I became hunter of my circumstances. I know that I was helpless, but he was educated person. I know that I am brain tumor patient. But he fully normal brain.

  So now I indicate to all of them are educated disability. Thats my powers only. So always I wanted to Advisor Prof. Syed Modasser Ali to build a hospital for educated disability. But dont care of me. now still standing up his facebook to all of my prayers. Thats made me strong also.

Now all of my pains combined a lot of powers that made so strong. I am a simbol of Bangladesh. I have seen some one and understand our real reality. Whole life we gave only, no justice of this illegal administration. Till now no open my face cover, no open my head cover, if its simple for me, so no till now dumb crying. I am a simple girl by Robindronath Thakur, I am Manoshi by Robindronath Takhu, I am famous bussiness Shafi Uddin Mina's grand pa's wife, I am a daughter of succeed farmer, I am sister of brave brothers,  I am Shahi Moholer choto Begum, I am Bangali, I am uncommon Bangali of ex, amb. Waliur Rahman sir. I am a sister in law of Adjudent General Mojahed Uddin Milon, Dhaka cantonment, I am a sister in law of advisor prof. Syed Modasser Ali, Thats all.( cont.) .