The cost of failure is experence but the cost for not only is your soul that the cost of course made a strong that only can be lead against the inhumanity of the world.

Thats exactly true that I gained from my struggle life. I hope that make you strong also. I had seen when my brother killed by the terrorist. At that time our administration had damaged. Because at that time all of them planed for the kill of Bangabandhu. What did my father at that day ? He was so intelegent only by God gifted. When grand father and my elder brother had gone forever from his. Then he alone. He did not his justice this illegal administration. He silently first he sent of us (second brother and me) to Narail City at my Mama's house. Then he silently arragened his others children at village that dangerous pereid. But he seems that no any dangerous. because no complain of others. So his village is so nice to him. they were peacefully liveing their. No problems. Because all of loved my elder brothers. Thats made him only strong in there. If he wanted to do case, so more damaged his family. So he could not thats only succeed once. He was craditor and others were debitor. Thats his power. But now in there always as like as brothers and sisters only. they are all of our relatives that I know .

When Kabir Jahangir disputed me at Narail. I never seen to him from near.  I was fully innocent at that day. Whereas second brother always said to mother that I cut a bit and throwing the river. He knows that he is not good person. But I was so silent. All of distressed only kept upon my God.Thats only made me strong. At that day I could defferentiate good and bad. But that my luck. My personality was so high. So could not established myself at Narail. If that day we insisted and something to done. Of course I will be failure of my life and no peace now. So God to do well that of course human beings.

When Ambassador Monzurul Alam disputed me in 1991. Then I did not any complain. And accepted my challange and once I succeed. Althought I got a lot of distressed. But I  gained succeed thats enought. But interesting thing I never touched their (Gopalgong) any food items thats growing the villlage. Whole life I have been service and eating my own income. Thats made me so strong.

After my husband dead they are all of ignore to us. Because we are now helpless. So they are all of responsible with us. But they did not care of us. Even they captured false registration of our property. Our Prophet Mohammad said that 'no never captured of orphan.'' Thats reality. No any complain for that. Because whole life no needed, so now no need. In here we are creditor and they are debetor only. we are giving and they are accepting. Thats made me strong only. I know that if I will go the illegal court, then so more damaged our money and important time. But no need. After all  they are all of my brothers that I know.

In 2006 seceond time when amb. Monzurul Alam came of my house and wanted negociate but firstly I dont agree, but once I did wrong. I already forgot my two orphan sons, forgot I am now unwell and widow and forgot hot not. But when come back my real conscious, then I told him the true word but he refuesed instantly , then I understand our reality. Come back and cached my pen only. I knew that our true real judicial immunity and our high educated disability society. In here no valuation of true. Who have so much illegal power they are strong. Law, news paper and everything is themself only. Always in my thought that one day I will go in his gate and to throwing wet by the Petron and fire that. But could not nothing. Why are you know ? In here their wall is so strong. Whereas they complaned to aganist me and indicate me Mad. Then the our idiots power hand caff and enter the Jail. Then my two orphan sons lost his only mother who always  maintaining them. Thats our reality. Even as like as Rohimon, Korimon at village girls, they beat me 73 Dora of my body thats humper or damaged my life. So could not kill him and always wanted to kill him by my pen.

Now if to do some  question me - murder ? rape ?  injustice ? what I will say ? please tell me. I want to from you. I know that because this is my dangerous period. 

1. 
   
   I eye witnes my brother killed once. thats all.
2. I know that Kabir Jahangir of Sweden disputed me ( never I saw him to near, only writing love letters, thats my guilty)  only for his own  interest that damaged my life that bearing till now.Thats true. At that period was so preservation.
3. I know I disputed second time by Monzurul Alam in 1991. But I know that first day he said to me that you are my hundred percent wife. Thats all. Now whole life he raped me or loved me I dont know.
4. After my husband dead when he came of my life as like as before. But in here defferent that then my husband alive and second time after my husband dead. I know that my illegal power that I used. But I became hunter of my circumstances. I know that I was helpless, but he was educated person. I know that I am brain tumor patient. But he fully normal brain.

  So now I indicate to all of them are educated disability. Thats my powers only. So always I wanted to Advisor Prof. Syed Modasser Ali to build a hospital for educated disability. But dont care of me. now still standing up his facebook to all of my prayers. Thats made me strong also.

Now all of my pains combined a lot of powers that made so strong. I am a simbol of Bangladesh. I have seen some one and understand our real reality. Whole life we gave only, no justice of this illegal administration. Till now no open my face cover, no open my head cover, if its simple for me, so no till now dumb crying. I am a simple girl by Robindronath Thakur, I am Manoshi by Robindronath Takhu, I am famous bussiness Shafi Uddin Mina's grand pa's wife, I am a daughter of succeed farmer, I am sister of brave brothers,  I am Shahi Moholer choto Begum, I am Bangali, I am uncommon Bangali of ex, amb. Waliur Rahman sir. I am a sister in law of Adjudent General Mojahed Uddin Milon, Dhaka cantonment, I am a sister in law of advisor prof. Syed Modasser Ali, Thats all.( cont.) .

Urgent Message to Christopher Mark Wingate from Krishan konna of Bangladesh.

Christopher Mark Wingate

Dear friend Christopher,
You tell me 1-3-4 word but I could not nothing. Because a long story. So when I exited then no stop my keyboard. Sry my failure- only to knowing you-

1. Many years ago what happened that forgot. so no need my brothers justice, no need my mother justics.

2. I dont want my own justice because now I am dead body only and krishan konna donot know how  to failute of her life. She will die but not surrender to them.

3. I want to justice only of my two orphan sons. Without me no anyone with him of the world. once only for them I cached my pen to against the inhumanity. They forgot everything what happened before. But after death someone again disputed me in front of them. So they eyewitness. I am always death with them. After that I am alive. I dont want after my death they will be dispute and distress from others. So now my request only one, they are innocent. they have no sin. Only for me whole life they will dishonor of our society. Everywhere they will suffer only for me that I never tolerate. only for this I disconnect of my family.

4. This big world, any place , anywhere, any orphan place where maintain the helpless peoples, in there please arrange to them. I know that now I am so distressed, always writing and writing, no care properly. for them. Only for  this day by day they are going damage. But have human rights. Please if you possible help to me that. After that I decide my fate. Only for them till now I am alive. if I will die, then they will be so distress, so could not nothing. I hope that you understand me, I hope that no criticise, only praised of the world. God said that if you touch the orphan, of course God bless you. Who are responsible, they are now ignore them. But they are of course innocent. only then I diciede my life purpose only.

Sincerely

Krishan konna Rahila

30 September, 2010.

''A Dumb Crying''

Krishan Konna

For being sometimes in my thought that I will write a story of ‘A Dumb Crying’. Just this time once I had seen the writing by Ex. Ambassador Wali-ur Rahman. He had written that ‘Sotto je kothin, kothinere valo bashilam se more korena bonchchona.’ (True is so hard that’s never ignore to me). From that day I started my writing. At that time I was looking who am I ? where come from ? whats my indentity or background ? Only for this root to go back so long distance to me. In there I have got back of my life and got a introduced such a familys history who had written of blooded letters. On the other hand, so looking a famous traditional family’s history. At that time understand that my root is so strong and the full meaning of Damb crying. For being 18 years that’s pains I have been carrying that no express and no tolerate without no exposed. For this once I affected. In there my Allah saved me. After that always I am living to bear that dumb crying. I want to crying the loud voice but could not. I know that if I don’t cry, eighter I fall affected again. So only for this now I am coming to say my dumb crying. For not only me, only for my two sons. I responsibility to  them. I know that I will go. Only back to them to near of relatives and want my ended my disputed life. Continue in my mind to be distressed but no express or no crying. But why ? How much sacrifice to me can you say this ? Once all of the peoples was responsible when I affected, But now who bear me ?

So long 18 years ago by a great mistake to became disputed me. Always bearing a dumb crying  being so long time. That miserable period passed me, anyone can be back my that distressed time ? in our society always the guilty of woman. So at that day his mistake always carried me only. But at that day what did he doing ? That’s tolerate silently. In our middle class woman could not anything if she desire. Without dumb crying whats have them ? So once I affected again. But unfortunately I become as like as a coffin of dead body by covered of the white cloth.    

But that’s touch of poison  once I affected dumb. That’s dumb story no express anybody, so once I affected. After my new born again I had felt that shadow of my life. I wanted to live and tried to loud sound but could not nothing. At that time I was dumb too. So could not crying by loud voice. Again I affected by that poison and my whole blood converted black color. Always I have been crying that pains of poison.  But no sound. But why ? First cause my two sons-who always looking at me. They are laughing if I laugh and they crying, if I cry.  That 18 years ago to did a wrong and to became disputed of my whole family and from then to kept myself so distance. To day can I crying them ? that should be for me ? for this always tolerate that no express.

The second reason that I am a daughter and a daughter of law such as a family that easily no anything for me. Today I can not nothing willingly. Once I was a best daughter of law of my father of law that I know. To day a lot of brothers and sisters are around the whole country and of the world that I am seeing everywhere.  Can I crying  loudly ? He is laying for forever of Gopalgong.  If I crying, he wake up.  Can I break his sleep ? now I am disputed to all of relatives, so should not be disturb  to them. So now I am crying by dumb only for this. Now my desire and want to telling  that I want to live, please save me. Please come on for end my disputed life and to know my true fact.  But can not. Seems to me that incident they knew once, that will stay being true. But our innocent sons ? Perhaps once I will go with my disputed life but whole life our sons bear that only.   I can not that. So today I come here only for solve my disputed life and justice of me.

When of our country to form tribunal for the crime of liberation war in 1971. Just this moment a dumb woman coming in front of the nation only for her justice to against the famous freedom fighter of Bangladesh who always covered his face with labash (s.fold). I don’t believe that he is a freedom fighter. Genuine freedom were fighting for save the woman of Bangladesh. But I always had seen he killed a lot of woman and putt of out side. Bangabandhur ideal was producer, not consumer. I am orginal freedom fighters daughter and sister too. But my whole life distressed me a freedom fighter. Now I want my justice to  the peoples of Bangladesh. I know that after this writing must be my death. But I don’t fear. I am Bangali, I am Muslim who always going forwarding the death of hanging with laughing, but never surrender to  unfair. For being two years always I am writing to him but he could not understand. So now I am coming my justice of the peoples of the country. As like as Rajaker justice of course to be perform in this country until he don’t recognize me. I have told that at the moment of the bad of last time after death, of course recongnize and t be say that ture word. Sometimes in my thought that I will to to all of our humanitarian. But I loved him so much. So could not. But now only for my child I am telling my dumb story only for finished my disputed life. Today I am standing up such a place, no moving or not stoping. No anybody of this country who save me this distressed and to see me the path of ture and light  or realease ? I know that I will be die and I want to my two sons only their relative and then finished my dumb crying (end).

''Illegal Power and save our Children only''

Krishan Konna

'The cost of failure is experience but the cost is not trying is your soul.'' Yes now  tell you a story-' Once a tiger was moving around the forest. At that time unfortunately he entered a case of hunter. He could not come out the case. So he distressed. At that time a human come to near the case. He told him for help him for the release from the case. The human so much felt grief for him. Instantly he opened the door of the case, then the ungrateful tigher ate him.'' Now all of you think in your mind whats the moral of this story.

I recall when from my friends house his maid servant that you are so ungrateful as like as a this story, then I said to her that I am not ungrateful. Always ungrateful to all of you. Now to all of my friends of the world please read my writing and let me know who are ungrateful ?

I known our mass observation in our liberation period whole university, college and others participated of our liberation war but all of them are not awamileague minded, in there a lot of others that I knew from my life. But only can say who are eye witness or who are the student of history. I am science student. so could not say nothing. Our great father of the nation Bangabandhu Sheikh Mujibur Rahman was lion hearted. Only for this he forgave them mostly and gave to them honor only for the delighted of joy. Only for the reason now a days to created a complex that I know only my simple idea.

I recall when my friend was a simple lecturar of Jogonnath college at Dhaka. I knew from him that may be participated the BCS exam. Once Bangabandhu said to him, '' tomorrow you will join the Ministry of foreign.'' Then he joined by his word only. On the other hand his brother was the bureaucrats also. A lots of brothers and sisters who come in their family and once established that I know.

After killed our great leader Bangabandhu, at that time to killed our real democracy and others policy but was that only mouth and papers. At that time eveywhere established in corruption. Who come enter behind door always they performed behind door of course. Thats reality. At that time no any good job of our Gopalgong and beside area. Now seems to me that at that time nobody cross the river of Padma. who came here to be got a lots of distressed that i knew from my husband and big brother Advisor Prof. Syed Modasser Ali. My husband always said to me that I was a stead forward leader of Rajendro college, always in my thought once I will be a leader. Everyday I had seen of my Dadu, DSP of Khulna (may be 1976-77 or not, retired DSP nephew Mizanur Rahman Miju's father of Rajbari, Faridpur) a lot of police come in and standing up by salute. First Police commissioner Khan Bahadur was born and brought up our village and Judge. But never thought any job at that time. But after when enter in Dhaka city, then suffered so distressed. on the other hand our big brother who always fighting in here that I know. liberation period his posting was Mujibnagar Meherpur. Of course he is a freedom fighter, his work was not field but supporter in his mind and soul. When Awameleague govt. gave his a honor may be he did not accepted and went to foreign only learning high education that means FRCS degree.  Now it seems to me that was his real idea and perfect educated that make him honor only.

On the other hand our Mama Mr. Tabibur Rahman was a famous director of the PSC (public service commission) al most know him. He was a great freedom fighter. May be in liberation war he was the student of Dhaka university. Now mass observation I say that Mama always used illegal powers. Because after 1975 all of them wanted to fulfill owns power only. He was born and brought up of our Narail. But he did not help any peoples of our Narail that I knew from my life. He always pestonised this bureaucrats society. because he was that minded also. At that time he was helpless also, because at that time established others party. So always he bias them only for save to himself. So he did only his bureaucrats friends work and no could not our genuine peoples. Thats reality. for the reason a lot of bureaucrats now created in here who always seems to them as like as a God. I know that at that time most of them entered here behind door. And thats period created illegal power roots that till now flowing that rules of our human mind by evaluation process. A lot of innocent student has gone out that place, althought they are true genuine that I know. I have seen who have  uncles, brother in here or attached any party of course they pass BCS or service test. But why ? we are coming here and day by day trying proper education but when appeared the BCS, then we out of, then what our mind ? Why ? that I know from my struggle life.

I know and observation of our mass atmosphere once I was a good student. I got first scholarship student of our school. But enter in here a lot of distressed and lastly disputed of our society, family and administration. But why ?  Why to killing our democracy ? only for this I became a educated labour of the department of Agriculture Extension in 1991-1994.

I recall when my mother in law ( Matyr Abdur Rouf Minas wife) went to Mama Tabibur Rahman, Director of PSC with me only for my service (But sry he is no more of the world now).  Because no any job in here only without pussing. If we have uncles or brother of our administration, job only his themself. Thats only near to me as like as a Golden deer at that time that I knew. Only for this hope with my mind I went there. But when he told me,'' you will meet me yesterday of my office only. '' Yes I went there proper time but seems to me nothing , gossiping only. At last said to me , ''you will come nest week.'' yes I will go there proper time. But nothing my progress. at that time I fully understand of our reality. But my integrity was so high. So no never to go there. At that time I was a science teacher of high school at Jattrabari of Dhaka.

I recall once my second brother called me that Sharif Khoshruzzaman Bhai (MP, Narail-2) called to him for you only. He said to Tabibur Rahman Mama, ' what are doing in here ?  our sister Rahila has not got any job, please arrange a job for her." My brother knows our reality. So he said also that how many taka to need any job for her please discussed. Although I know our reality, after that I went there in time. But same case that disgust of my mind. So now helpless and to want that Golden deer. At that day I fully understood that our MP stress his illegal power but this bureaucrats did not allow that.Both of corrupted in here. I knew that Mama did not take any finace from me or others, so no hope anything of this adiministration. But at that time once come his bureaucrats friend  from the Ministry. Mama Tabibur Rahman understood our reality. So he easily sent me with his friends car. At that day first he took me of our Ministry (moa), then he told me a lot of misery story that happened his life before. Unfortunately  I became disputed all of our family, society and administration thats suffering till now. But why ?

At that day I was a sister in law/ daughter in law of Bangabandhu at Gopalgong. I was so innocent. I was a mother of my son. I knew that Bangabandhu honored him but what honor his sister in at Gopalgong ? He was most ungrateful because he is so much educated and was General Secretary of BCS cadre. For this I mean all of them are corrupted of our society . Now I proved to all of them only balanced with him.  Always they are used of illegal power that destroyed our family, society and administration. I did not used any illegal power at that day. But why ? I bear my disputed life so long time, till now. At that day to killing nationality, to killing human rights, to killing humanity, to killing democracy that I know. Just now I am a symbol of that. Only illegal power made them as like as a God that I know. in here all of the servant of the government. But i dont understand that. Because our reality some one came enter in here only behind door and works always behind door that I know. in here to killing nationality, to killing democracy. At that my appointed period when I became first, then stress our ex. Minister by commissioner of Khulna that I knew. At that time to  used illegal power from both side. I knew that must be failure if my elder brother late Nurul Islam no standing up behalf me as like as freedom fighter. Thats know only our senior secretary Tapan Babu and Ataul Karim Sir at that period who always protect me that I knew. I know that only created of my own power to did hard work the educated labour at DAE for three years. After that to gained this job. I am in here only my own performance and good qualities only. No any illegal power, whereas I know how they stress their illegal power.

Now we have been many years, so always occurred behind door thats destroyed our children life. When both of side pusshing their illegal power, then we are who are genuine, orginal educated then gone out that place. then who enter here behind door, then they are starting that play and day by day running that system that I dont like now. now should be condemn that.But how I dont know . (cont.)

  

   

Biddrohi Nari (Rebel Woman) (starting only)



Krishan Konna

Dhanmondhi residenscial area. A retired Ambassador Mr. Zaman’s house. His neck name Meghodut. There are two house just same plot. One of 2 floor building. In there he is living with his family. In there no any laxarious life style. To looking very simple life of their. In there that house first floor Manoshi is shouting  of her loud voice and to massacre the necessary things such as labtop, fan, tea table etc. by her hand bag. In there his son, wife , care taker and maid servant are looking but nobody don’t tell to her anything. Her only one word that you told me wife, you told me that you are my hundred percent wife,  you are my part of life, I never forget you, you can tell everyone that I athorised it, this house is yours always come and go, now you are alone for this only right of me because once I loved you, now you are Shahi Moholer choto Begum, so now of course recognize me. You waste my life, at that to forgave you, but now could not forgive you. Before 18 years ago you wanted me your residence of Mokhbazer. But  I ignored that and go back my husband house again. But now to be make me establish. To day I want house, car, finance and of  course to give me that’s. I don’t go from here. Or can be that one  condition if you will say my big brothers, M.Z sir and Mr. Shifuddin, vice chencellor or university that you are a play boy and always you acting to me only. After that will go from this house and never to look at this house. Then Meghodut loved her dearly and said that my father has a lot of poperty. Just now if I recognize then he will have leave me and then all maintain to you only. Are you forget me ? if you take your compensation then no connection with me. Are you want that ?

Manoshi was silent. Once she again cooled and then Meghodut said that let us go to reach you of your house , then Manoshi did not agree and come back of her house lonely. Manoshi was not good feelings so next day she went to there, But when she reached his gate, then the security of his house said that no enter of you in this house. To day Manoshi felt so hurt and insult in his mind. But her integrity of essence so high. So then she through going to forwarding her house. Only in her thought that now no any place for crying in the world. Suddenly she recall her friend Mr. Mira. Then she break her riksha and down her house. But he did not told her misery story of her, only was crying and crying. Mira understood her pains and consoled her and said, ''don’t worry, please patience, to see everything will be resolve.  I know that you don’t any mistake, so no could be any harm, be boldness, May Allah bless you.'' After that once stop her crying and said to Mira, ‘ Please buy me a pistol.’

Mira said, 'what to do by that ?'

Manoshi said, 'I will kill him. I revenge for my insult.'

Then Mira said, ''if you kill him, then you will death by hanging.''

Once she come back her house with a lot of pains. When she arrived her house. Then come to call from Meghodut. He was calling that why you  to do the work of terrorist ? I dont never accountable to any one. You can to do  if you wish now. Even he said that you are a mad and to be treatment of mental hospital.

At that day Manoshi so distressed that no express anyone. Even nothing to do for that fully destroyed her mind and soul. After that she want to forget all of her pains and sorrows and only for living she cached his keyboard in leau of the pistol. Is she terrorist ? why she is rebel ? is she had done with normat brain ? Only for that looking I am inspirated to writing my  Rebel Woman story. If fall any tears to read my writing Rebel woman story , then I will be so grateful to all of you and succeed my writing seems to me. Just in 2007 Meghudut started his story-‘’ Onek bochor age’’ (Many years ago)---

Illegal Power, Promoting democracy and protect our human rights, nationalism, socialism, secularism and others status.

Rahila Khanum
Ministry of Agriculture

Today I known that we  are all equaly entitled of our human rights without discrimination. These rights are all interrelated, interdepended and indivisible. Human rights are rights inherent to all human beings, whateever our nationality, place of residence, sex, color, language , religion and other status.

But from my life what always I have been looking ? Now I dont know nothing, I don't know nothing only know what I am doing ?

Yesterday my younger son said to me that what are you writing ? nobody dont like your writing. Nobody  don't touch your wall, even no any bee touch that also. Then really I hurt in my mind and so distressed. Just today only my thought really what I am doing ?

I recall once my second brother said, '' Stop your writing, you are unwell now, always take care of you and your sons thats make you be happy and peace only. Always remember our reality, supose in your office, in there ten person to tell one word, then you tell other word, everybody support the ten person, No support to you. Then seems to others that you are Mad only. I know and understand you  what you want but you dont against establish of your idea. Thats our reality. ''

I recall my friends Christophere Mark Wingate important words '' The cost of faiture is expereence but the cost not trying is your soul. '' Of course I known from my father and our all of brothers struggle life and from my struggle life also. All of them did not bang their head agaist the wall, whereas all of them always stand back from that.

I have seen of my fathers life. Of course he is once succeed. I have seen my elder brother who always fighting aganist the terrorist and illegal affaris. He was the brave solder as like as a tiger. But at that day was so dark night and the terrorist to killed him only behind door. From that day I knew that only corrupted person all perfomed behind door, they are hidden, but true person dont hidden anytime, anywhere. So he was so stead fast that I knew from his life.

My second brother who is a brave one also. I recall after killed my elder brother, in there established the illegal power. At that time it will be hit again our family. So my second brother escaped away from that place with me and permanent living at Narail . Then he was may be attened the SSC Exam. After that from his struggle life no any time to read. But his experience so high. All of leader like and love him so only for his integrity. Because at that day a lot of responsibles of our family. One side my elder brother killed and other hand my grand father Suresh Chondro Mukherji had gone to India without our concern. Because at that time his life risk to living there. So he escaped away at dark night without no knowing of our family. He was the best guider of our family and second my elder brother but now understand that atmosphere was so hard for us. That illegal power destroyed our family roots.

But my fathers did not know how to faiture. He was trying the best. My others brothers and sisters are then so small. They always trying their study proper way and no hamper to others. I recall the way of our school, where once killed our elders brothers, a coconut tree was standing up a long time bearing a great sign in his body that means when the bullet busting , then some bullet entered and out going that coconut tree. To more blooded road, in the middle of the road a lot of blood flowing. Regular my children was walking to their school and crosing the same road over my elder brothers blood by their feet. But never their mind to be corrupted. They always seen to crying my mother. But never arised any revenge to against the terrorist. Whereas they trying to learn proper education. Thats was my father dreams that they knew always.

Human any time sliped and again he standing up thats indispensable reality. Such thing happend my father life. Once my younger two brothers same time passed the ssc examination to getting the first class of science. Thats occured only for my fathers good performance. He dreamt again and again. But our reality is so hard. My two brothers out of his family. Because only for their education  go aborad of course. Seems to me if any college or university of my father own, So they will be proper educated that I know. when they come out of our village and admitted the Narail Victoria college. In there they attached our student politics.In there they seems to them as like as a lord. Then they understood that who are attached politics, so all power is themself only. So once one of them unfortunately attached a unathorised party and disputed at that time. Everywhere he became disputed. But nobody did not know orginal fact in his mind and the un express word of his heart. To day my observation that meaning the word of  terrorist another way. when our police attacked the theif. Then the police is terrorist with the theif. Because the theif affraid to see the police and try to escape away. Just my younger brother cached his illegal arms at that day only against the terrorist who always destroyed our family and destroyed our father dreamt only. From his childhood he always observed a illegal power that destroyed our family. He wanted once just now they all of terrorist to be affraid to looking his. So then he did not keep his head banging against the wall, then  he stand back from that and  looking the options. For this once he cached his illegal arms and  dont care any administration, any society, even our family. I knew at that time the dept. of police always affraid that person. But I know that my brother did not any harm to others. Only he was human beings. Always try to solve the probles of others. He is not terrorist. Our adminstration, our society created him terrorist and  disputed him. But till now I dont believe that any illegal work performed by his hand. Always he is friend of the helpless peoples of our society that everyone recognised today. Our society did not honor to him. But the foreign just understood him propersly. From 1993 till now he is our of country. But sometimes he tried to stay our country but could not. Because our reality. first stage a lots of Korian, Chain and Japans loved him so much as like as a brother only his integrity of essence.

I know a lots of my brother who left our country as like as same case. But it seems to me that only for their good luck that I know thats my feelings only. Now in my thought that all of my brothers who always fighting only their father, mothers , wife and children and sending a lot of money that enriched my finance system that mean remitance. May be yesterday I read a space of our beloved son Mr. Shojib Wazid Joy's , he said thatour digital structure is complete now al most. But till now no meaning of our digital Bangladesh. Please tell me anyone what is our digital frame work ? I want a frame work and to work always upon him. This frame will be brings our  mother crying who could not see his dear son ? Only this money fill up my dear sister in law and his dear sons tears ? A lots of brothers and sisters are now crying and crying but I don't know ever. only know my dear brother who one month to eating his hand and saved my life that misearable day at Cmch who is crying, his wife is crying, his son is crying. After that he is as like as a lord in there. In here no honor to him but foreign just given him honor. Thats all. Allah is Great.

But our bad luck after my brother killed till now we are not established our supremme power of our locality. Thats reality. Everyone tried his best one of but not succeed. Because that our illegal power. So we are always failed in there that I know.

I recall last year when I heard that police captured my second brother in front of his work shop. Then I hurt so much in my mind. At that day I went to see my brother at Narail. I went the judge office and wanted to meet him which law he captured my brother. But our illegal power he did not met me. Even in there someone told that his brother is so dangerous. Then I arised loud voice and said no my brother is not, in this illegal law is must terrorist that I know.

When i come back then to know about our judge. After all he is not proper. A lot of complains against to his name. Always he established his illegal power. I knew my brothers guilty that when judge car was running in front of the road for bring the children from his college. Then my nephew was coming by Honda (Motor cycle) same road. In there misunderstood. Then my nephew arised his loud voice against the driver. At that time the nayeb was present the car. So instantly he informed the judge and in order by judge all perfomed and quckly come and arrest my second brother because my nephew his elder son. Now understand the illegal power is so high that damaged not our hamper, sometimes that damaged our important life also. Now I hate them theri illegal power.

I recall last year once our efficiency class of our conference room. Then one of my sir told us that '' I have worked at least nineteen years of our locality that means district level. But I have seen a lot of that everyone is illegal. thats true now. if we obey the real establishment rules, then seventy percent peoples is stop standing up where he is standing up now. if we say thats establishment rules, then we are saying wrong. ''

Now you tell me why judge car was going the college of his office hour ? have any rules ? I dont know. only know last year when I discuss our doctors of Narail hospital, in there they said to me that if we did not give the proper food of the cow , then it did not proper milk. So all of TNO and Magistrate used the nice car or Zib but we are now negligence. So now to say perhaps no right of all of them. Thats was just illegal power.

I recall when I discussed our matters of our Deputy secretary Iqbal Uddin Khan (now He is secretary of Ministry of Home.) . Sir said to me that no matters, no any case on it. no tension all performed quickly. After some days once he said that to solved of your brothers case. I said him that yes all completed. But only used illegal power, then destroyed human life that i know from my life (cont.)

'Amader Prio Shilpi SM Sultna' (Our Beloved Artist SM Sultan of Narail.)



Rahila Khanum
Ministry of Agriculture

After a long time I write our SM Sultan that did not thought ever. Now my looking SM Sultan who  sometimes of my student life became to see many years past. I never thought that he one day to become a honorable artist or to be our pride of Narail. At that day in 1985 to met him when we come back from our ‘8^th Natioal Science fare-1985’ at Narail Victoria College. My sir and his conversation and we(sirs daughter, my class mate) was standing beside. In 1986 was celebrating for full of Century of our Narail Victoria College, at last I saw him there. No more see him ever.

After that I came to Dhaka and living permanently in 1986. All of memory of Narail had hidden the covered of the screen. For that my struggle life I forgot to  all of my memory of Narail. I already forgot my lot of memories enriched of my village of Vokhali and shodor hospital of Narail where I always moving and playing. Forgot my  dear school Ship Shankor girls school and beside Jamider Bari, back side of the school Kul trees, Badha ghat and our artist SM Sultan. But not forgot, only no upgrade, no time of my life. When that time came then I am disability listed.

To day SM Sultan is famous of our country and whole of the World. Now I recall once our senior assistant secretary Shadik sir ( now Additional secretary, Ministry of Establishment)  said, ‘’Rahila any cost please collect me a sketch of SM Sultan.’’ But I could not nothing for him. Only from distance I heard that now his birthday or death anniversary.

Last year April/2009 when Ex. Ambassador Wali-ur Rahman sir and me conversation for long day, then once I entered his heritage Foundation and no any sketch of our beloved artist. Then I so distressed and written to sir, then he wrote to me.

to see Sultan's works plz visit www.bhf-bd.org then Dali and Others then gallery, then you can find a masterpiece by SM Sultan. He was a story teller of the peasent & working class of our society. This master artist died in 1994. Now his art looks very expensive. Water color full sheet size more than 7000 USD, oil painting around 35000 USD.

We organized this show as a tribute to our mother langauge. Many artists participated in this unique show of fine art. We have published a nice art catalogue too, where you can find the art-works available in the website. Its surprising that you couldn't see Sultan's art there. But its there, plz browse with patience.

If you really like Sultan's work, I will arrange one piece for you. But this is really expensive. Everyday, price is increasing. So, think before you collect.

Hope to hear from you soon.

Best wishes, Wali
Appril 09,2009.

At that day I was so pleased and to wrote a article for him –‘ Sometimes with artist Mostofa Aziz and our beloved artist SM Sultan “  from memories page only. (Mostofa Aziz was poet Golam Mostofa’s son and famous artist Mostofa Monoar’s brother) . Then sir so much pleased and reply me-

Hello, thanks for the write up. Its really nice to have your article on SM Sultan. In heritage website, you may find SM Sultan image. plz check carefully in the gallery page.

I came to know that you are from the same part of Bangladesh where I was born and brought up. I stayed in the SDO Bunglow in Narail in 1967, when I started my career in the Pakistan foreign service.

Mostufa Monwar and Mostufa Aziz are two brothers. Aziz died two years back. He was famous for his sketches. Monwar is my soulmate, we meet in different occasions.

Sultan was a real son of the soil.I have in my collection one big painting of this maestro. He died in 1994.Through this article I came to know partly about me. May I give you my personal phone number?

best, Wali

Appril 13,2009.

This is our SM Sultan of my life. A lots of country or aboard comes to see the Shongro Shala of SM Sultan but I could not see that was only my misery. So once afternoor in 5 November/08, I went to out my memories enriched area lonely. To out of the road to took the riksha and through gone to the Museum of SM Sultan. After so long time in here become many chaged and to created a new building a lots of. All understand to seen the name plate beside the road. My feelings was so good. Once I enter the Shongro Shala. First I come here. I recall once he was living here a lot of snakes, Beji, birds and others always drawing a lot of sketches in here.  Today big building and a lot of flowers around here. To going forward and to see his dreamer ‘ Golden Heaven (Shonar Shorgo) has disply behind. Then the time was 5-00 pm, so museum off. So no seen museum and came back our house. Althought care taker Golap Miah insist to me for look at. I did not look at that because no my two sons with me and no any camera with me at that day.



We are looking Golden Heaven
but outside that displayed



My younger son Rafsan and me


After one month we went to Narail for some programme. Then I went the Museum with my two sons in 3^rd January/09. But so miserable incident that no care taker Golap Miah. He was then the Academy of Arts. . Then called to him by phone. By this time we were time passed to see the garden and captured some picture.

Schwan and Rafsan

 After sometimes he come back and open the lock of the Museum.  We enter the Museum. Just first time I was looking at his precious arts. To looking at and in my thought that how to do impossible that ? that’s is God gifted. Who comes ones and to kept their achievement of the world. Only thought as like as poet, Writer, Literature to kept their great sign Just as like as Artist same also. In everything display a living feature. that s a art who always possible that person only. Every body no gained that. they are rare. Althought I don’t know any name of arts. But to looking at minutely  then and thinking how many days to created it ?

This is Golden Heaven that
created by Ex. President Ershad

SM Sultan Museum at Narail

But at that days observation that’s so difficult only sitting this dark place to create them. But no astonished that if I thought how to created Gitangoli by Rabindronath thakur. This is God gifted. So now should so honored this great artists all sided. Who come anyway, any   sector who are always so Great. This name is culture. Until the peoples of this world, till now wil stay our culture. Where is so much culture that’s nation is so develop that I knwo. I know only from my struggle life and now observation that we  are now as like as machine, so no time anything read, looking and observing. Just for only thing till now no seen our SM Sultan

Krishan konna is looking
minutely the arts of SM Sultan

 

Krishan konna is looking
minutely the arts of SM Sultan

He always dreamt that his Golden Heaven where he was sitting and drawing the art of children. But once I knew from my brother that our ex. Presindent General Hossain Mh. Ershad fill up his dream. Today I observed that. For this we are so grateful to our honorable ex. Presindent Ershad. I hats off..

But a thing that hurt me so much that so shameful of us. Our SM Sultan so much honorable and his sketch is so valuable. Price 350000 dolar that our ex. Ambassador Waliur Rahman sir wanted to me. But this whole Museum is always look after only one person care taker Golap Miah from morning  till evening . Even he work excess of Academy of Arts. But how possible ? After that his salary is so low ? in reference- then I went my Dc Sir at Narail and told him, please increasing the salary of Golap Miah. In our Dhaka a maid servent salary is minimum 1000/-taka. But that’s inhumanity. DC sir said if fund create, I said, of course will create and give him proper salary.

 ''Sultan was a real son of the soil. He was a story teller of the peasent & working class of our society.'' As like as Ambassador Waliur Rahman always in our mind that. As it were no only his birth day and death aniversay no celebrating. Everyday is as it were Sultan fare of our life and his yard as it were full of human sign. Whole children as it were bloming to see the Golden Heaven. Each children will be created individually  as like as a SM Sultan in their mind. After that I am telling to all of my friends of my country and of the world please once moving our beloved SM Sultan Museum. Where preservation his precious arts and dreamer Golden Heaven. In there to getting the orginal mother and of the soil. Feelings good .

This our our care taker Golap Mia. At that time his salary only 600/-(six hundred taka) who always look after of our beloved Sultan's precious whole yard and Museum. But before few months I communicate him and to knew that his salary some increasing. This is our needy, poor peoples of Narail and thats our honorable all of high society who loved our SM Sultan. My hats off Golap Mia.

’18th International Disability Day-2009 and some speech’’

Rahila Khanum
Ministry of Agriculture

I am disability listed. In 2004 after my brain operation I modified that. But never I did not mean it of my mentality. But in my struggle life continure a lot of problems that faced to me and till now.  Once I had seen that our honorable social welfare Minister told that our disable peoples is the Golden citizen of Bangladesh. In future we will get their Gold Card that will show always free from transport and others facilities. At that day I recalled my Red Card of Cmch who is hundred years guaranty that will show in India, always discount our fare and everyone standing up and give me their seat and honor me. Whereas where I born and brought up in here no honor of me. So once I went Dr. Zoarder Sir, head of the dept. of Ent at BSMMU (Bangladesh Sheikh Mujib Medical College hospital) . Sir check my ear and sent to me odiology. After examined to see that my left ear is 100% lost. Prof. Zoarder said that our rules both of ear 40+40=80% to be lost. Then we give them certificate. But to said that have 100% lost that means so more 20% than our rules. Then I also said that I heard our PM sheikh Hasina is now disability listed. In 1/11 grained attackh she lost his one ear something. Then he said to discuss Dr. sharfuddin (General Secretary, BM/Shachip). But I did not go with him. He is my husband class mate also (known person as like as brother). I did not want persue. 

Then I went my home district Narail. First time Civil Surgeon of Narail Dr.Shukumar Khundu said to me, Why you do not any claim your compensation to near India ? Upon his speech I have written my articles ‘Where I want my this compensation ? after that on his certified deputy director of welfare Khan Mahmud gave me disability certificate. But interesting matter was that then I got a person who I am looking  always in all the world. In 1971 I had seen only flash back who are where now ? But he sometimes talked to me about liberation war 1971. He always had gone with my elder brother of our village home.

Last month I went to Narail of my some programe, all of them first the correction my disability certificate. I went  1 December to DD office, at that time to seen they preparation of up coming 3 December celebrating of disability day-2009. They gave me a card and told me participate there programe. In time I went DC office, Narail for participate with them. When I reached there, I had seen a lots of poor, needy and disable peoples. I went forward to them and heard  their misery story. Some one said, am I come back my  good eye ?  some one told, I passed H.Sc but I have hand problem, can I get any job ? someone told, madam all of their gets ages Honorius  but I did not get any disability Honorius.  Some one knew me that till now they not get any Honorius, her children disability, so they come only for help. My feelings was so good just standing in them and hear their miserable story. For short time I forgot all my pains , sorrows and remorse. Then I  understand that of course they hope to me any help. But then I am helpless. But nothing to do for them. Only said that I am as like as you a  disability person of Narail listed. I came here to perticipate to all of you  only.

My elder brothers friend DD, welfare
Mr. Khan Mahmud is left side calling
by cell phone 

Rahila Khanum

At that time all of our officers reached there. Then I was standing the rally. To start and stoped UTDC Milonayton of Narail. Everyone entered the Hall room. Then I seated in front the room. Once started our discuss programme. DD, social welfare Khan Mahmud preside the  programmed. After some disability speech, then Shahidur Rahman, programmer officer called for my speech.

Rahila is standing the ralley

Then I standing up the stage and told my miseray story of my disability life and some memory of Narail from my student life. Then only being emotional I said that I have written my best story “ Educated disability. who is educated but activities not educted they are educated disability. After all -Who have a nice two eyes but no power that, they are blind and who have a physically smart but no any importandt component in the heart. They are mental disability. But I always to see them, but no seen any educated disability who are around our family, society and our administration. In front of our sir to that speech I became so emotional so no forwarding. But one of the pain that who always help me at that time I did not any speech for them. At last once I came back to Dhaka with this pains.



Narail UDTC Milonayton



The stage where I am telling my
 spaceh

 To come back in Dhaka, always recalled them. Their miserable helpless figures always came as like as flash back and hurt me again and again. Always seems to me how I go back with them. Feelings some responsibility. From that responsibility I started my dreamer RPF (Rahila Protibondi Foundation). But how to do ? then I started my writing. I always feels their pains from my pains only. Just from this Heaven always to fighting, so no pains understand their pains, how they suffering. Once I born and brought up the soil and now I am disability listed. I have thought myself that I am a simple girl, Manoshi, Biddrohi Nari, Bangali, uncommon woman. But at last I knew that I am disability Rahila, the daughter of Narail that was so happy and happy. At that time in the middle of them really seems to me I am a  dreamer Queen.

Shorab Bhai, city Mayor
of Narail.

 Then I come out the Hall and direct the Poro Shaba to Shorab Bhai. In there under ground to distributing rice to the needy peoples by VGF Card. Just first time I come here and instantly to go first floor where he is working that means his city office. I recall when we came to Narail in 1976, then Shorab bhai and my second brother went to me Ship Shankor girls schoool and admitted me. He is my elder brothers close friend. our whole life we all of know that he is my own brother also. He like me so much that I know. At that time he said to me, when come ? when go back to Dhaka. Come on my house at the evening. I told him, 'to day at night will go back to Dhaka.

Now only in my thought to see Shorab bhai and his noble activities. No created one day Shorab Bhai. From 1975 a lot of struggle, he come in here. For being many years he has been this working. He is the  Great that I know. I know our indispensable reality and can differentiate good and bad. Always in here our politicians is disputed to be good or bad. One can not please everybody that i know. May be as like as Shorab bhai that i know. I like him so much. today only in my thought that if my elder brother also living. Of course he maintain our locality. Because he was the first stead forwarding leader that I know. Shorab Bhai.I hats off .

To day who always apraised  me , please pray for me that any especial day as it were I go back with them and whole year I am waiting for hope that happiness. I love them who are honest and sincerity and dishonor them who are always dishonest, corrupted, who used illegal power and killing humanity. Today I don’t know nothing, only know beings human  beings. “Shober uporey Manush shotto taher uporey naye” (End).

Just now I am telling my dear brother Mr. Nashim, Ex. Minister and now may be advisor member of Awamleauge.

Now a days I am not tolerate any miserable incident.. So no interested to read or TV news. But only one time to try to see that. Yesterday at night I have seen that your comments of  Advisor, Health and Welfare Prof. Syed Modasser Ali. I dont believe that your comments. Only in all of your wrong idea. Always remember ' Sweet is sweet thats if stayed in dark night'. Ture always true. in here we are all of educated disability, so no see any true orginal with eye. Please tell and looking indicate who are genuine person of Health Sector.

I have seen his whole life to served the humankind, First time when he was the director of Eye division, Science eye Institure of Showroardi Hospital. In there he created his dreamer Community Clinice that was the name of Fajilatunnesha Mujib of the wife of Bangabandhu Sheikh Mujibur Rahman. May be first celebrating was Sonagoan Hotel, in there prensent of our PM Sheikh Hasina and others (Mr.Sujonjit Sen Gupto and late Mayor Hanif, Dr. sharfuddin and others. In there I was present to being guest. when he was the member of WHO. All of the world knows thats community clinic is only his dreamer ones. So that sence he can tells thats his right only. Because i know any dremer object always more precious in his mind and soul.Our reality just such of. Any unfair hand destroyed ii, may be thats sence only.

Always our reality we came here with behind door and out of in front door. And all of performed in here behind door. But Dr. Syed Modasser Alli is uttered that only his integrity that he knows. Only few person that to say always true. Dr. Syed Modasser Ali is the best of one that I know. Because now I can differentiate good and bad.

Now I am living the whole world. It seems to me that we are living here as like as a family. Although we are a individual nation. After that in here all of educated disability. So before research head to foot and his integrity of essence. I dont never that speech disputed the country. I seems to me that other party of course to be incourage the new idea thats always helpful and to serve human beings. Thats all..

Always remember I am krishan konna to cached my father kachi that means pen. Gopalgong is my second home land. I observation  from my life that after 1975, 15 August no enter in here of any peoples of the Gopalgong. in here fill up of other district peoples. So always we are negligence in here. if it is not, when to tagged Bangabandhu's picture on our lift or others, instantly cut a bit, But why ? Bangabandhu is innocent person, He does not any unfair. But only for Awamelegue idiots power thats destroyed our father image that i dont tolerate now. Although now i dont like any politicians, but to know honor only good person.

Please no any bad comments of our honorable person. if he dishonest the nation will be panishment of course. But no any commets of your mouth, because now I taught to hate of all of you. If any comments then I cut a bit that me disgust only. please no any comments of Gopalgong only for all of you thats means Awameleague then in my thought that all of your own interest you are telling against your brothers. please before search indispensable reality.

regards-

Rahila Khanum
Ministry of Agriculture
Sister of Nur Ahmed at Narail District.

I am telling to all my friends of the world who are always fighting to removing poverty and terrorism and improving democracy.



Rahila khanum
personal offecer
Ministry of Agriculture

 My some friends told me why are you not smiling face ? Just now I recall once our famous agriculturist DG, DAE A.K.M Gias Uddin Milki sir said my relative that I never seen laugh to Rahila. Really she is genuine.'' My bad luck from my childhood always fighting and fighting to against the inhumanity and the terrorist.No anytime of my life that day I should to laugh. After my brother killed by terrorist and in there established their idiots power, then I went escape away to Narail with my second brother and shelter to my Mama's house (Banglar Mama Abul Khayer). But in there no could not staying only for the terrorist.  But once came in Dhaka but in here that terrorist did not living peacefully. Then I hidden my life from all my relatives, in this struggle life once affected brain tumor,then everyone ignore me but never ignore my mother, brothers and sisters. Once i come back with a new life. At that time my husband expired and I become a dead body cover of white cloth. But this dead body once again hited and hited and converted to pest only. Then only my God safe me and again recreated. Now where I wil go ?

 So once I became out of country. Just now I am standing up in front of the world. Now I want my justice for whole life. I want justice my brother, I want justice my mother. I never to see any terrorist of the world. Now I want to smiling and laughing. I want to see of the world peace, peace and happines. Please generate your kind helping hand for me. I want to help only create Sonarbangla, once my brother dreamt that. Please help me to all of the firiends who are always trying to removing proverty and terrorism and promoting democracy.

regards-

Rahila Khanum (Krishan konna of Bangladesh)

Personal officer

Ministry of Agriculture.

26 September, 2010.